Unwelcomed Company

(…scene opens as our hero steps up and mounts the soapbox podium..wait for it…and… ACTION!…)

Our “Concerned Elected Officials” in their drive to provide for the good of their “Flocks”(A.K.A us), since we can’t make good decisions, inform us through speeches and requests for legislation that we should be more frugal with our use of energy ie: fossil fuels. They raise the tax on gas, make laws for the auto manufacturers on MPG and emissions (which in turn raises the price of vehicle’s MSRP). In the race to make these goals, auto companies are trying all sorts of “Smart” (not really) ideas. The electric cars sound like a real promising solution, except for the fact that the cost and environmental impact of producing the batteries these cars use, offset any gains to the carbon footprint.

I believe that if “Our Keepers in Government” were that concerned, and believed that this was the way to go, would show by example and not by words only. Some suggestions:

• Cut the ties that bind them to “Big Energy” and the $$$ that sway the decisions.
• If its such a good idea, why aren’t State Capitols and Washington D.C. electric vehicle or urban mass transit only cities? Of course some trucks would be needed for deliveries (although a transfer hub could be set up where goods are brought in by truck then transferred to smaller vehicles or even a electric underground transport system thereby eliminating the noise, congestion, and pollution of surface.) This type of system is already in use (Disney World, Orlando,Florida).
• All the Limos and SUVs used for transporting officials to and from their meetings, changed to Hybrid or electric vehicles.(I think it is absolutely ridiculous that you need a full size town car or SUV to transport 1 official around town)
• How about bicycle cabs or even a type of rickshaw. (could be powered by “community service” people (maybe not, this might fall into slavery, or cruel and unusual punishment realms).
• Eliminating “Gas stations” in the capitol cities, and changing them to “charging stations. This would also prevent tankers (or the possibility of a liquid fuel truck bomb) access to Government centers. Charging sites could also be in parking sites (where during the Reps daily meetings, a freshening charge could be made so vehicles are ready to go at all times.
• Why aren’t the Capitols making more use of alternative power, wind, solar, hydro? These don’t have to be exclusive sources, but they could augment the current sources, and possible reduce operating costs or even reduce the carbon footprint.

Taste: How good does something have to taste, for a Proctologist to say “it’s finger lickin’ good!“?

Do lesbian frogs think they taste like chicken?

Lesbovines: When you drive by a herd of milk cows, and see one cow mounting another, those are Lesbovines.

Dykylists:  Two women, holding hands while riding bicycles in the “Gay Pride Parade” are most likely Dykylists.

Skrod: Not a fish, but the past-pluper perfect conjugation of Screw.

Cat-tilingus: When sleeping, your pet cat sleeps on your face.

Bigamist: Large fog over Italy.

Innuendo: Placement location for Italian style suppositories.