Sasquatch thoughts

Sasquatch, Yeti, Big Foot, Creature from Boggy Creek, etc…

Many different names, very similar descriptions, many separate cultures, and a time line that stretches hundreds if not thousands of years. Is Sasquatch real? Countless books, articles, movies, documentaries, eye witnesses, Cryptozoologists and others have argued this pro and con. The physical proof that points to a Sas is in foot print casts, unidentifiable hair samples, some grainy photos (Photoshop beta ver. 1.0), on the other hand  there have been no creatures found living or dead, no living quarters, no shit (no shit!), no explanation of them being able to move quietly, or disappear so quickly. After watching Discovery, Nat Geo, and Animal Planet specials, listening to arguments of the specialists, I have come to my own theory.

The main point of my theory is that Sasquatch is not a carbon based life form, but either  Helium or Hydrogen based (I lean more to Helium other wise forest fires would cause Sasquaches (Sasquachi?) to explode! This type of organism would use their prehensile feet to grip the forest floor and not float away, (explains lack of long foot print trails), their size would be large, but their weight would be a negative buoyancy or close to it. This explains their vanishing act, they either release their hold on the ground and float up to the tree canopy (where their nests are) or pushing off the ground to spring away (leaving a foot print) much like the films we’ve seen of the Astronauts on the moon. This could also explain the lack of bodies, when they die, they just float away until the bodies deteriorate and fall back though the atmosphere, burning up in the process. I suspect at some time there could possibly be a discovery in space of a vast Saragossa Sea of dead Sas’s and tons of Sas poop. Any Thoughts?

Additional thought: Helium based life form may also account for the Sasquatch’s strange sounding vocalizations.